2026 is starting with some big changes in the Hager household. Our youngest, Shayan, moved out last month. Two weeks before Christmas. Seriously, kid?! What are you trying to do to your mother?! Sheesh.

I’m kidding, of course. He’s very happy, and we’re truly thrilled for him. He and his girlfriend, Melanie, found a sweet little place in Normal Heights, just 20 minutes down the road. They’re starting a new chapter in their lives, much like Sacha and his girlfriend, Ali, did earlier this year.

When Shayan first began looking for apartments, I felt that familiar panic rise in my chest, the kind that shows up with change and transition. I still have to remind my body sometimes that change doesn’t mean danger. At one point, I looked at Patrick and said, “I’m so glad we like each other, because empty nesting would be a lot harder otherwise.”

I really am happy for my kids. And wow – parenting is such a trip. I used to naïvely think that once kids became adults (whatever that means), our job would be done. What I’m learning instead is that our role as parents is constantly evolving. The ground shifts year to year. With every new stage, we’ve had to learn how to pivot and how to balance care with involvement. For the most part, I think we’ve done that well. We still show up when they need us. And they do still need us. But now we’re more on the sidelines than center stage, cheering them on from not too far away. That’s what successful parenting is supposed to look like.

And then – another pivot.

Patrick and I were empty nesters for exactly 17 days. Last night we picked up Patrick’s dad, Grandpa Bob, from the airport. Dad lost his partner of more than three decades to Alzheimer’s in mid-November. Over the past five years, he was Trisha’s primary caregiver as her condition steadily worsened. When he came to San Diego for Thanksgiving, it became clear that he, too, needed a soft place to land, along with some care, love, and attention. Patrick and I offered just that, for now and for as long as we’re able.

So, with five bags and a guitar in tow, Dad has moved in with us.

We’re excited to have him. He’s easygoing, low-maintenance, and pretty independent. Patrick is grateful for the chance to deepen his relationship with his dad, and my kids are happy to have a local grandparent again. Sacha helped set up his old room for Grandpa Bob. Shayan is already talking about taking him on an RV camping trip. And I’m looking forward to breakfast-table conversations, showing him my favorite restaurants, and hearing stories from my husband’s childhood. I’m also relieved that Patrick won’t be alone when I travel for work.

Just like that, we’ve gone from sidelines back to main characters. Life is always in motion. We pivot, and we do our best to show up when we’re needed.

This morning, Dad was out front and met one of our neighbors. He waved and said, “Hi, I’m Bob. I’m new.” If you see him out and about, please say hello and help us welcome Bob to San Diego.